Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
