You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
50% drunk capacity currently
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
