And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
