absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
