I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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