I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
