Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize