Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize