I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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