Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
