3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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