You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
His hands were made for my vagina.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
