I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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