I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
