What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
