but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
