Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
