she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
