There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
