Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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