sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
So squirting runs in the family.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
