there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
