at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
