so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
