I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Are we still banned from the library?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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