I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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