Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He better not be in your backpack
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
