Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
