I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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