I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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