i think i have herpe
just one?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
