its not stalking. its research.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
