True but thats because hes a fetus.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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