It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
