Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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