Just fell off a train. Bad.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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