Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
