He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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