And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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