how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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