the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
