My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she told me i tasted like america
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
