You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize