You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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