My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
