ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Randomize
