what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
