We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
