Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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