how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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