ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
