We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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