Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
this is an emotional support booty call
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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