so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
