She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
