weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
