You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
