I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
