once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
