you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
