I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
