I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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